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July 02, 2005

Nip and tuck

For whatever reason, Bloglines didn't register my last blog entry. If this problem persists, I'll try to fix it. Hopefully this entry goes through, and if you didn't read the last one, you now know it happened :).


Mr. Sock came to my yarn surgery office a few days ago - he was very unhappy with his appearance and needed a drastic change in the way he looked.

First, it was my responsibility to make sure that Mr. Sock was of sound mind and wanted yarn surgery for the right reasons. He explained to me that he was a victim of poor planning. It seems that his creator, one Ms. Grumpy, failed to admit to herself that the radical differences in the gauges of Mr. Sock's patterned instep and plain stockinette sole would lead to a poor fit. Ms. Grumpy attempted to create the sock based on the gauge of the patterned instep, but the heel, the sole, and the toes suffered as a result, becoming bloated from the looser tension of their stockinette composition. Mr. Sock was convinced that yarn surgery was necessary, and I agreed.

We identified the problem areas. Of course I had to take pictures while Mr. Sock was all naked and exposed, then point out the trouble spots in a really flashy way, just like they do on those plastic surgery shows - I think it gives me more credibility. Mr. Sock said it humiliated him, but he dealt with it.

Most obvious was the extra stockinette, present all along the side of Mr. Sock. It had to go.

Next, there were the bulges which protruded at the pattern transition at the toe shaping. Nothing a little yarn surgery couldn't fix :).

Last, there was the heel flap - simply too long. As a side effect of the long heel flap, the gussets were huge, stopping just a small distance before toe shaping began. The entire heel area needed a good tuck.

Mr. Sock's yarn surgery went very well, and he is currently spending some time recovering at the Washing Machine & Block Spa with his twin brother, Señor Calcetín. He feels lighter, slimmer, like a new sock! He'll be ready for his reveal shortly!

Posted by Kathy on July 2, 2005 02:58 AM

Comments

Oh what a talented doctor (thanks for the laugh).

This made me laugh so hard. Thanks for giggle. Yes I agree with Leslie, an excellent doctor indeed!

I think you need your own show on some sleazy cable channel. Seriously.

I'm sure that this was all done after a psych work-up, just to be ethical.

I would Tivo "Extreme Sock Surgery". And I'll bet there was no scarring.

Wow, all the pithy remarks are taken.

You snooze, you lose, Colleen!

I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog today - every entry is fantastic and very entertaining!!!

Your top looks great, the sock surgery - hilarious :-)

Nothing like a little elective surgery to get into shape!

how embarrassing. i was knitting tivoli. having a blast. i got cocky. look how good this looks! i can follow directions! i rock! i start doing the sleeve shaping and realize after taking out the markers that it is not right, really not right. so i rip back and put the markers back in, and realize several rows later, and more than a thousand stitches, that 2 of my awesome perfect sleeve seams now make a detour that i not only don't feel confident enough to fix, but fear that ripping back will cause me to never finish it at all. i show it to a few people, they say no one else will notice. sigh. i will notice. and so will any knitter with eyes. unless you know how to move those stitches without ripping back? i can fix a dropped st a few rows down, or change a purl to a knit, etc...any ideas? or is it just gonna be flawed?

You are toooo funny! Can't wait to see how the sock came out!!! Re: Bloglines, I subscribed to my own blog and last week I posted on Tuesday and it didn't show up until Saturday. Let me know if you know how to fix this ;)

That is so funny :) All it needs is a little surgery! It looks great though :)

Can't wait to see what he looks like after, since the before is already so great.

You crack me up. Now, you realize you're a hard-core knitter. A novice, (aka lazy-ass) like me would have looked at it and said, "Oh well. It just adds character!"

Oh woman, I don't even have the words! But after reading that, I am DEFINITELY not going to start sock knitting anytime soom! Scary!

Nothing like a good ole Mr. Sock story to brighten my day! :)

At least Mr. Sock chose the very best surgeon for his procedure. These are not the kinds of things you want to leave to any ol' quack. No sir. I can't wait until the dramatic reveal of the new and improved Mr. Sock (and his brother too, of course).

I'm waiting for the pics on the surgery! My god, that looked like a major procedure!

too much! :)
i'm glad they're recovering :) the before was great, i bet the after is unbelievable!!

VERY funny!
Can't wait to see the new sock!

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